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I interviewed 1200 people on why we avoid change, even when it will get us to where we want to be. Immediately, I noticed a trend. Here are the top 5 reason we avoid change. Question: “If you could make a change today that you know would move you towards what you REALLY want, what keeps you from making it?” 1. Fear. Not knowing or being able to control the outcome, keep me from making changes. 2. I don’t have time. My life is too full right now to even think about making more changes. (I am living in a world of clutter) 3. I over-think and need to plan before I make any changes. ie; FEAR in not being able to control the outcome. They may all fall into your reasons why change is not your favorite experience either. In case you were wondering, money and relationships came in fourth and fifth as reasons why most people don’t move on changes they know they should. As you can see, according to the Busy Audit, we’re allowing fear to rule our lives. One thing we do know is that most of us on the “busy treadmill” will say that our base level of general happiness is lacking or even nonexistent. And yet, we keep filling our lives with fear and worry, without consciously knowing that it’s this clutter in our heads that is keeping us from finding happiness. But once I really looked into these top reasons most of us don’t change, one thing became really clear – we are fearful of not knowing what the outcome will be and will I be able to control how the outcome looks and most importantly feels. According to Fear expert Susan Jeffers in “Feel the Fear and do it Anyways”, Susan says that the bottom line, big reason why we don’t move on what we really want in our lives is “We don’t think we will be able to HANDLE IT.” That’s it. But here’s a big secret, you already have Handled Everything that’s ever come down the line for you. You can and will handle anything that comes your way. So once we realize we can handle everything that happens to us, what have we got to fear? NOTHING! So where to from here? 4 Secrets to get us through any change in life and work. 1. Just DECIDE you want to do it. Make a decision already. My mom’s favorite saying was; “Shit or get off the pot!” Do something already. That’s why I titled my book “Shift or get off the pot” 2. Understand that the power is in the pen, handwrite on paper, what the change is you are going to make. Then tell someone. Post the change somewhere you can see it for a week, next to your computer. Allow your friends or colleagues or family in on what you want to change, they will help you get there. And let the magic begin. 3. Actually take a few steps towards the change and let physics take over. Inertia will move you along the change, but you need to get the ball rolling literally first. 4. Understand that there is a cycle to change, everyone goes through all the stages of change, some go quicker and some need more time. And once you’ve given one change a try, you will notice you have more courage and confidence to take on the next changes you want to make. You see, you don’t get courage before you go to try something new, you get courage after you’ve tried it. Confidence does not come to you before you take a risk, confidence comes after you’ve walked into the risk. So to quote the egg producers of America, “Get Crackin” I’d love to hear what risks and changes you are making right now. Find me on Facebook, Twitter and Linked In.
7 Ways to Heal a Busy Brain and the Human Attached to it |
Self-imposed Busyness is literally making us sick.
Most of the time, we manufacture urgency in hopes that it will create urgency in others. Instead, it only creates anxiety, resentment and spite. This is absolutely counter-productive. And even in the cases where the urgency is real, it’s often due to a packed schedule that we created.
All of this made me wonder:
Why would grown adults, with a brain and two opposable thumbs, decide to voluntarily create stress in his life?
I found the answer, and it’s not pretty.
Number one: We get our Egos stroked for being busy. You get to hear “How do you do it?” or “Wow, that’s amazing” or even better, “Poor You!”
But even more revealing and sad:
Number two: We are afraid of ourselves.
In North America, we are defined by what we do. Our careers. What we produce. It’s the first question asked at parties, and often the first tidbit of information we share with strangers. The implication is that if I am not busy doing something, I am somehow less than. Not worthy. Or at least worth less than those who are producing something.
Now, before you start to think this is just one persons opinion, in a recent study published in the Journal of Science. In one experiment, participants were left alone in a room for up to 15 minutes. When asked whether they liked the alone time, over half reported disliking it.
In subsequent studies, participants were given an electric shock, and then asked if they would pay money to avoid being shocked again. Not surprisingly, most said they would trade money to avoid pain. However, when these same people were left alone in a room for 15 minutes, nearly half chose to self-administer an electric shock rather than sit alone with their thoughts.
You read that right.
So think about this. We don’t know how to just “Be”, combined with our Egos being stroked by all the feedback we get because we have so much going on. We are truly missing out on the peace and beauty that lies within ourselves. I have said this before; we need to Disconnect to Re-engage. I wrote in “Self Care Tips for highly Stressful Times” the critical tips to start today.
1. First decide you want to change the pace of your life.
For some of us, the pace at which we live, serves us, we get great feedback, it keeps our egos on track and feel, that we are doing what social norms require us to do.
2. Eat right for your brain.
You already know this, so start with adding one great brain food to your day. Whole grains, oily fish, blueberries, tomatoes, pumpkin seeds, and broccoli.
Tune-up your brain chemistry with supplements, B vitamins are essential.
3. Take a deep breath
Yes, we all breathe without even thinking about it. However, we all mostly don’t breathe properly. Deep breathing helps in the better delivery of oxygen to your body’s cells, along with nutrients in your blood stream. As well, it helps in the process of carrying away toxins via your lymphatic system. If you do not detoxify properly, which proper breathing does, you become susceptible to weight gain, muscle loss, inflammation, and yes, fatigue! Try it out, take a couple of deep breaths, you will automatically feel better, and more awake instantly.
4. Drink water
If you aren’t drinking plenty of water by now, you should! This may be the reason why you are feeling tired. Juice, soft drinks and the likes aren’t what you should be consuming if you are tired. You see, dehydration reduces the blood volume, which creates fatigue.
5. Get up and move!
Sometimes our fatigue is caused by inertia. Especially when you have to work at a computer or sitting at a desk all day. Movement, any type of movement is exercise! Moving your body creates an increased blood flow, which in return increases your energy and defeats fatigue.
6. Listen to music
Whenever it’s too quiet, we tend to get bored very easily. Being bored leads to fatigue. So turn up the radio, or pull out your iPod and start listening to your favorite tunes.
7. Laugh a little or even more better, A LOT!
Laughter has a lot of benefits, such as releasing higher levels of endorphins, which make you feel better. This also sweeps away any feelings of being tired. As a matter of fact, recent studies have shown that even the anticipation of laughter increases endorphin levels.
Share this with anyone you know who needs to create more “just being” spaces in their life. Let me know what you do to give your brain a break and re-energize yourself.
Linda Edgecombe, CSP
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Many of you who know me or read my occasional stuff on FB , know that this past month I lost my mom to cancer. As any of you who have lost a close family member know, it is a difficult and transitional time before, during and after your loved one passes. I have cried more in the past two days than I did right after her death and it’s interesting to observe what triggers me to get emotional, a movie, a song, the sun, a cloud in the sky as I sit at the window seat on yet another flight. What hit me hard last week, was when I am driving somewhere and have a few minutes to kill, I’d call home and talk to my mom. I am seriously asking myself, why even bother with makeup, it’s just a waste these days… All other parts of my life have also been tossed into transition. I keep thinking, ‘I’m feeling shitty anyway, so lets just bring everything into the open’. What I am discovering are some clearer pathways I want to move towards, and in that clarity I am also finding I need to do some work on myself. I had some time to kill today so I Googled: “How to become a better Person” and this is what I found and I really like it. I hope you do too.
Have you ever stopped to wonder why there are so many fad diets out there? The fact is, none of them work, certainly not for any length of time anyway. And don’t even get us started on trendy weight loss pills and claims of slimness in a bottle or with one type of exercise device sold on late-night TV.