reinventing yourself as a man

Re-Inventing You – Is it Possible?

Last week I hosted my first ever “Re-Invention Convention”. We had 22 dynamic women attend, although it wasn’t just for women…. hell, the reason I was inspired to put on this event was because I have been so impressed with Captain Kirk….. I mean if William Shatner can re-invent himself after 40 years in the Entertainment Industry, anyone can.

So we started the process of re-inventing by sending everyone who was attending a bit of homework. We wanted people to do some deeper thinking before they even arrived. Their task was to do a values exercise, followed by some discovery work on how we plan our lives and how we prefer to operate in the world. You see, this statement has always fascinated me, “You just need to get out of your own way”…..then success will have a place to take you. But really what does that mean?

Through the discovery process I discovered that we all have blind spots, areas of our lives that limit us when we try to move on goals and dream. We don’t necessarily see them but our close friends and associates sometimes can. These can be our belief systems, our limiting belief systems. They basically come down to the core values most of us learned before the age of 5 and we default to when we are stressed or our buttons are pushed.

So here is the activity we had everyone do to start the Re-Invention Process. This is courtesy of my dear colleague who spoke at the event, Dr. Anita Dosaj.

The following five steps help you identify what is most important to you as guiding principles in your life right now. It may be useful to consider these if you would be upset or happy if your present situation in life would change and you could no longer act on a particular value. At times you also may find it helpful to consider two values at a time and ask yourself the relative important of one over the other.

1. Identify 15 or so values that are most important to you, and circle them.

2. From the list of 15, identify the five that are most important to you.

3. Reduce the list to 10 that are the most important, i.e. go from 15 down to 10 of your most important values. Reduce the list of 10 to five of your most important values.

4. Rank each of the five values with “1” being the most important to you and “5” being the least important of these five important values.

5. Write down some values that you would like to embrace as you move into the future.

Please note, this is not an easy exercise. The first step is easy. But the last two steps are difficult, if not uncomfortable. This is because the reflection forces us to reconcile a number of potentially divergent aspects of our current lives.

First, when you rank the final five values, you inevitably keep asking yourself, “Does this placement of the value reflect on how I act now or how I would like to act?” In other words, you question yourself if the ranking of a value represents who you are today in your actions and how you think and feel?

Second, if it does not, then you will want to understand if it represents the person you would like to become? You may also wonder if the ranking reflects your current preferences, attitudes, actions, and decisions. Or does it represent how you were in the past, an earlier version of you?

Understanding what if important to us becomes a moral compass or rudder helping us to steer our path through confusing and somewhat conflicting moments and decisions.

List of values, beliefs, or desirable personal characteristics:

  • Accomplishment
  • Achievement
  • Adventure
  • Affection
  • Affectionate
  • Affiliation
  • Ambition
  • Assisting others
  • Authority
  • Autonomy
  • Beauty
  • Belonging
  • Broad-mindedness
  • Caring
  • Challenge
  • Cheerfulness
  • Cleanliness
  • Comfortable life
  • Companionship
  • Competent
  • Competitiveness
  • Contribution to others
  • Contentedness
  • Control
  • Cooperation
  • Courage
  • Courteousness
  • Creativity
  • Dependability
  • Discipline
  • Economic
  • security
  • Effectiveness
  • Equality
  • Exciting life
  • Fame
  • Family happiness
  • Family security
  • Forgiving
  • Free choice
  • Freedom
  • Friendship
  • Fun
  • Genuineness
  • Happiness
  • Health
  • Helpfulness
  • Honesty
  • Independence
  • Improving society
  • Innovativeness
  • Integrity
  • Intellect
  • Involvement
  • Imagination
  • Joy
  • Leisure
  • Logic
  • Love
  • Loving
  • Mature love
  • National security
  • Nature
  • Obedience
  • Order
  • Passion
  • Peace
  • Personal
  • development
  • Pleasure
  • Politeness
  • Power
  • Pride
  • Rationality
  • Recognition
  • Reliable
  • Religion
  • Respect
  • Responsibility
  • Restrained
  • Salvation
  • Self-control
  • Self-reliance
  • Self-respect
  • Sincerity
  • Spirituality
  • Stability
  • Status
  • Success
  • Symbolism
  • Taking risks
  • Teamwork
  • Tidiness
  • Tenderness
  • Tranquility
  • Wealth
  • Winning
  • Wisdom

My top five values in descending order of importance are:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

 

Values that I would like to embrace moving forward into the future:

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

· Is the first list one of current values as you see yourself or as you want to be?

· What is the connection of your top five values between where you are and where you want to be after you complete your envisioning exercises?

· Which of your current values are congruent with your preferred future/personal vision and which ones may clash?

Well once you have completed this, just ponder on how you show yourself to the world around you. Do you show up living in your values? And are some of your values not serving you anymore? We will explore other aspects of the Re-Invention process as we go along is this series called Re-Inventing Yourself – Is it possible

For contact information on Dr Anita Dosaj, please call my office at 250-868-9601.

Linda Edgecombe, CSP
Motivational Speaker
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Linda Edgecombe
Canadian Speaker Hall of Fame