Linda Edgecombe

September to Remember

I found this excellent article in the Globe and Mail today and really wanted to share it with you. If you are currently not an Entrepreneur and never intend to be, then I want you to read this article with a life goal you have on your bucket list. For more great articles from the Globe and Mail go to: www.theglobeandmail.com
In the Beginning

One of the most persistent myths of entrepreneurship is that 90 per cent of start-ups fail within the first two years.

The accuracy of the statistic is debatable, but what’s not up for debate is how tough the haul is for the first three years.

Making the mental adjustment from employee to employer was the initial hurdle I had to get over. Having just careened over the three year “since we registered the business name” milestone, I thought I’d share the lessons learned from being a newbie entrepreneur for other aspiring self-employed types:

1. Think big, even when you’re small.
It’s all about perception. Acting with the confidence of a larger business can set your startup apart. Going head to head with established players, we invested heavily in branding and marketing materials and a premier virtual office address, all in an effort to demonstrate credibility out of the gate. It seemed to work. Most people thought we’d been around for 20 years, even though it had only been weeks. Just make sure you limit that image of a big fish to brand building – don’t carry it over into spending like one.

2. Don’t go it alone.
Surround yourself with advisers, mentors, and other entrepreneurs who can help you think through the myriad of decisions flying your way and help boost your spirits when things look bleak. Before launching Executive Roundtable, I assembled a group of advisers (former clients, colleagues and influencers) and met with them quarterly to get input on the business strategy and direction. Not only was it a great way to get feedback on the business, the group helped me keep on track against my goals. If you’d rather not start your own, check out what’s out there. Groups for startups abound. Google them and get involved.

3. Do the work and the numbers will take care of themselves.
I found the quickest way to slow down my business was to spend my time obsessing about money. When I spent my time thinking about what I could do to help leaders instead, the business started to flow. Instead of thinking about your bank balance, think about the customers you need to be calling.

4. Be prepared to shift gears.
It’s important to start with a vision and an idea, but don’t ignore early feedback on your product or service. When clients weren’t responding to our initial sales approach, we adjusted our strategy. Recently we’ve been able to slowly reintroduce some of the ideas that, in hindsight, we probably tried to launch too early. Selling is all about what your customer wants to buy, not what you need to sell.

5. Buckle up, it’s going to get bumpy.
Being an entrepreneur is a lot like riding a roller coaster. For every high you get from landing a new client or making a great pitch, there’s a low that comes from cancelled orders and delayed projects. Keeping a list of accomplishments helped me keep my eyes on the big prize. And, continuously paying attention to my sales funnel has helped temper the disappointments and delays. For every low, there’s a high that’s coming around the next bend if you keep at it.

6. Chase the vision, not the dollars.
In the first few years of business, cash is going to be tight. I probably could have made more money slinging lattes at a coffee shop. I met with lots of newbie entrepreneurs who had visions of replacing their six-figure salaries in their first year. Most of them ended up closing shop and heading back into full-time work. The lesson I took away was this: unrealistic salary targets can cause you to make poor short-term decisions that affect the long-term viability of your business.

7. Nobody’s going to do it for you.
Creating “partnerships” and “alliances” with other organizations always sounds like a good idea. Dreams of easy referrals and shortened sales cycles dance in your head. In my experience, the only alliances that worked for me were the ones where other client bases were completely aligned to my own (but not competitive) and they were as hungry for business as I was. But most importantly, they shared the same core values around work. Without those three components, you may find yourself overinvesting in coffee talks.

8. Reflect on your accomplishments.
Twelve months into my business launch, all I could see was the giant to-do list of things that I hadn’t done for my business. Writing an update to my program advisory committee gave me a great opportunity to reflect on what I had done. Now I take time each month to reflect on what’s been accomplished (as well as that 90 day to-do list).

9. To grow, you have to let go.
My main objective has been to build a business, versus a solo-preneur. By the start of year two I knew that I was going to have to start handing my baby over to others. Hiring is never easy, but it takes on a whole new meaning when you’re potentially paying someone more than you’re paying yourself. After juggling three part-time hourly people, I realized I needed to bite the bullet and hire one full-time person. What I’ve learned is that hiring someone full-time before you need them allows you more time to train and mentor them, which makes letting go so much easier.

10. Help others.
It’s easy to become consumed in the challenges of your own start-up and feel like you don’t have the time to have “networking” meetings or “informational” interviews. But the reality is that business today is all about relationships. Many of my “info sessions” have led to business leads, speaker recommendations and expert panellists who’ve contributed to the growth of our business. And some have been duds. But to get, you have to give.

And here’s one last lesson that might be the most important one of all: believe in yourself and your vision. In the early days of my start-up, there were plenty of times when I wondered if what I was doing was worth it. Plus, you’ll always run into people (who aren’t your target customers) who are quick to tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing.

In my experience, when you start to compromise on your vision, you water it down and risk alienating the very people that you want to serve. You’re not for everyone, nor should you be. But what I know for sure is this: be true to what you believe and the clients will come.

Special to The Globe and Mail
Glain Roberts-McCabe is the founder and president of the Executive Roundtable, a high-potential leadership engagement and retention organization for mid-career leaders

Linda’s Newest Book – Boost

Available this October 2010
 
Do you and your team need an energy and re-engagement boost?
If you answered yes, then this book is your guide!
 

 

Motivational coach and engagement expert Linda Edgecombe offers insightful, amusing, and practical advice on building a creative, energetic, and engaged team in these challenging times.

In her easy-to-follow, fun, seven-step plan, Edgecombe shows managers and entrepreneurs how to do more and do it better while having fun, and how to give themselves and their teams the “boost” they need to accomplish the goals they’ve set for themselves. In the fast-paced and always changing world of business, everyone needs an edge. Entertaining and inspiring, this book shows how to get it.

Email Linda Edgecombe to pre-order your autographed copy of Boost.

info@lindaedgecombe.com

Back to School. Dung it out challenge

As we get closer to the start of the 2010 -2011 school year,  we tend to start getting ready for the busy month of September.   Here are a few tips to help you get organized,  energized and ready to start your new year.  I have always thought that September is more like a new year than even January is.  We get to go shopping for back to school things,  new binders,  paper, pencils and best of all new shoes.  But before we get all this new stuff,  I suggest we dung out the old stuff.  We need to clear some space in our lives and our heads before we can get going on adding new things.

  1. Hold a quick family meeting,  over a casual dinner to get full buy in from everyone.
  2. Everyone choose one room that they will take on as their project. 
  3. Put a timeline of this one room so everyone works towards a target.
  4. Choose one room or area that the whole family will work together on.  A general space that everyone uses. 
  5. Have a plan in place on what  you will do with all the stuff. Create 3 piles in the garage or on your driveway.  You need to  plan to either give away, donate or take to the dump.
  6. Have one day when all the stuff you have purged, leaves your home.  Piles can not stay in the garage till next spring!  Are we clear here.
  7. Celebrate.  Choose a place to go for lunch or enjoy as a family.

Linda Edgecombe

www.lindaedgecombe.com

Are you getting yours?

No I am not asking about your sex life.  But the question does have your bed in mind. I am curious how well you are sleeping these days.  As I mentioned in my personal note,  I spent 7 days last week at a wonderful hiking lodge called “Mountain Trek”  located near Nelson BC,  by the Ainsworth Hot springs.   I had 6 days of hiking, yoga, core training, detox saunas and no coffee, sugar, salt or WINE!  Needless to say the food was awesome and with all that exercise,  I slept like a baby.   One of the several workshops we attended was about quality sleep and how important sleep is for our overall well being, and, if it matters to you weight loss and optimum health.

Here are a few tips to help you get better quality sleep and why we all need at least 8 hours of it a night.

While the rest of the world runs full speed, we still live in a very primitive body, within which resides a biological clock that influences the activity of every single cell. Blood sugar, hormone levels, metabolic rates, body temperature, sodium/potassium levels, and immune function are just a few of the things directly linked to the body’s internal clock. Altering your biological clock can have a drastic impact on your health.

Poor sleeping habits can have a direct influence, not only on the quality, but also on the length of your life. There is a direct link between sleep and problems like heart disease, chronic fatigue syndrome, viral infections, ulcers, indigestion, muscular pain, strokes, asthma, headaches, and even fatal car crashes. Our own National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that over 100,000 automobile crashes each year are related to drowsy driving. Even more shocking are their latest figures showing that traffic accidents caused by drowsy driving now kill more young people than alcohol-related accidents.

It’s is important to try and get to sleep around 10pm and create a beautiful place to fall into sleep.  From 10pm to midnight is where your body does the work to restore and repair itself.  If you don’t fall asleep well here,  this will start to age you.   Between midnight to about 3am,  this is when you have loads of dreams.  And from 3am onward is when your subconscious mind does a download of information about memories and thoughts etc.  Each of these parts of our sleep are important.  So here are a few tips to help you get to sleep and stay asleep.

  1. If you exercise after dinner, do it as close to eating as possible.  Your want to burn off the dinner and level out your insulin levels
  2. Avoid evening snacks to keep those insulin levels down and not spiking
  3. Make your bedroom a cave, well make it as dark as you can, unplug clocks by  your head and keep all electrical outlets close to your head not in use. They give off an electric current that stimulates your brain waves.
  4. Make sure your bed is VERY comfortable for you.  Spend some money on good linen and pillows. Your deserve it.
  5. NO TV, or computer just before bed, turn your mind off.
  6. No caffeine after lunch,  let it get out of your system.  Note the highest amount of caffeine in a soda is Mountain Dew!
  7. Allow yourself to surrender to bed, use some “heart-felt” meditations of gratitude to change the pattern of nervous systems that run from your brain to your heart.  This will change the stress response and will align all of your body’s systems.  Eg: Just take a deep breath into your lungs and from your heart, as you breathe out, think of something you’re grateful for from your day.  Repeat about 6 times.   You will be asleep.
  8. If you want to use a supplement then chat with your doctor about taking melatonin. Which works to regulate your own melatonin hormones?  Some studies about sleeping pills have proven that you only get an extra 40 minutes of sleep by using them and they wipe out your memory of the dreams you have. 

Well there you have it.  So practice just a couple of these for the next few nights, and just see if you get a better nights sleep.

Nighty, night!

Linda

Linda Edgecombe

www.lindaedgecombe.com

I have always stated that there are two types of perfectionists.  And perfectionism is a disease we just have to get over.  It is all based on insecurity, if we weren’t insecure about something, we would just leave it alone.  

The first type of perfectionist is a person who has high standards for themselves and the second type is a person who has high standards for themselves and everyone else around them. 

The second type tends to live a lonely life as they find everyone around them backs away because they can’t measure up and quite frankly,  life is messy.  So they will tend to live a life of disappointments. 

Being Too Neat Wastes Time

For some of us organizers, time is as precious a commodity as clean space. Spending time obsessively colour coding a filing system, or moving things from one pile to another, or sorting underwear into piles of weekday versus weekend wear just doesn’t make sense.  According to me, (a not very organized person) Duh! Just get it in the right drawer, now that’s organized!

Messy Is Not The Same As Disorganized

If you know where documents are on your desk, what difference does it make if the corners line up at sharp angles? Many times, people with a messy work environment are more efficient because they don’t spend time filing, and then finding the same piece of paper several times a day.

According to me again, we are more creative and can relax our minds to find innovative answers when piles and bits of paper do not distract us in our sight lines.  Bottom line is; if the system you currently use is working for you,  fly at it.  If not, choose what you need to do to be the most effective, relaxed and creative person you want to be.  And don’t beat yourself up trying to be neater or easier going.

A Case For Rolling Up Your Sleeves To Clean: This Is For Your Work Or Home Team

An honest assessment is needed to get you started.   I want you to open up every closet at home and at work.  Ask yourself, do you like what you see?  Would you be embarrassed if all your closets were left open and storage room doors taken off, and a bunch of friends are coming over to your house?  Or at work, some of your most cherished clients or potential clients are coming for a meeting. 

Where To Start

For Home:  What your junk drawer says about you. 

I need you to pick an hour to do this task.  You will need a garbage bag and access to your recycling box.  Pull out the junk drawer and just look at what’s in it.  All the gadgets, pens, pencils, twist ties, coupons, etc.  And on every item, do the 6-month test.  Have you used this item in the past 6 months?  If not, chuck it, recycle it or give it away. 

When you have difficulty throwing something out, even though you have not used it for over 6 months, there are deeper issues holding you back.

Once you have done this task.  Thoroughly clean out the drawer and wash any inserted organizer trays and put back the items that passed the 6-month test.

Whala!  Now just make a few notes in your journal about how you feel cleaning out that one drawer. 

For Work:  I would like you to do the same thing if you have one of these drawers or closets or rooms in your office.

Quite frankly you need open, organized space to be creative and engaged. End of story!  It is time to ‘spring clean’ even if it’s November.  That means, every closet at work (and/or home) needs to be opened and left open until you dung it out. You also need to clean out your files on your computer. Perhaps at one of your next meetings you can have a quick discussion as to why we hold onto ‘stuff’ that no longer has value to you.  What else at work are you holding onto that no longer has value?  For example: old files, promo material, old campaigns, old material on your company website, policies that were written back in the 80s or worse, earlier.

If you are not quite convinced on why you should de-clutter here are just a few more reasons.  According to journalist Patricia Cook from Associated Content, she sites five good reasons why we could all use a good dunging out.

  1. It looks better when you are done
  2. You save time, not having to find things in the clutter
  3. You become more productive, see number two
  4. Being organized saves you money, and sometimes makes you money. Have you ever found coupons and gift certificates in a pile of papers?
  5. Most important reason to dung out, it gives you an emotional lift

Have a great week!

Linda

www.lindaedgecombe.com

Ideas to live by

Learn to love yourself, but get OK with the fact that not everyone will like you. Don’t spend your energy on making everyone happy all the time.  It’s a waste of your good time.

Innovation has more power to move people than making it there safely.

Develop an opportunistic mindset.  In everything you engage in, pull out even the tiniest opportunities to act on.

Create a vision and assist in opening the eyes of others to see their vision

Learn to make decisions, even if wrong, and act on them.  Change and tweak until it works for you, your family or your team. Waffles are a Breakfast food, not a leadership style…

Ideas to live by.

Have a great week!

Linda Edgecombe

www.lindaedgecombe.com

Are you a Gump?

OK, so it’s early June and I know that I have not been that motivated for a few months now.   Is it procrastination or just that American Idol is now over and the Bachelorette is now on that’s kept me from focusing on practically everything and certainly everything physically active? 

I mean other than weeding my several acres of gardens; I have basically done nothing for months.  And this 49 and10/12’s  body needs more than just bending at the waist to pull a weed to fit into a nice birthday outfit.  I know all too well that what we put out there we get back.  It’s basic physics; I talk about it all the time as a presenter.  I’ve written about often in the past.  I experienced it again this weekend at my 12-year-old daughter’s fastball tournament.  The more I sat there for 8 hours straight, the more I sat there.  I was flip’n exhausted by the end of that day, and I had done not one thing that required energy, well other than cheer and reach into my backpack for more snacks. 

Procrastination for me is a way of not looking at what I really want to, let alone need to look at in my life. It’s like putting a towel over every mirror in the house so I don’t have to really look at myself.  And when there’s nothing to face, then no decisions are required. Truthfully, I am at a cross roads in my career.  I have been a full time speaker for the past almost 20 years and love being in front of groups.  To me there is nothing better than getting people laughing to the point that time just flies for them.  However, I have found that the travel to and from the places I go to speak has worn me out.  I keep thinking and even more, feeling like some big change for me is coming.  I open my computer and expect some revelation to appear through my emails.  I was reminded of some sage advise I had given one of my sisters a while back, as she dished it out to me; that in order for doors to open up for us, some have to be closed, but which ones? Now there’s the question I need to look at.

So enough about me, what are you doing these days to keep your inspirations alive?  Are you focused or just doing what I call “gumping” Remember Forest Gump?  He, like the feather in the beginning and end of the movie, just floated from one thing to the next and made due where ever he or it landed.  Now that’s me for sure, I’ve been gumping.  I wonder how long one can gump for until its time to snap out of it.  Now I don’t know about you, but I have been a very driven woman pretty much all of my life and find my drive needs a bit of a tune up.  I called a girlfriend last week to have her come over and go running with me.  I haven’t really ran for several years.  It was great.  So I know for sure that I need a buddy when it comes to getting focused on fitness.  What do you need to get and keep you focused?  Seriously MOVE on something and let physics take you farther down the line.

PS: Don’t forget your sunscreen this summer. 

Linda Edgecombe CSP

Author, Professional Speaker, Mom of Two, Wife of One and Passionate Gardener

1-888-868-9601

www.lindaedgecombe.com

Success is all in Your Head!

According to an article in the Globe and Mail, research has been conducted to find out what it takes to be highly successful in today’s world.  A new book called “The Winners Brain” indicates that highly successful people function differently from the average Joe.  I know your first reaction will be “Ya, Duhh!” But don’t be too haste to stop reading because they also say that we ‘Average Joe’s and Josee’s can actually re-wire our brains physically.  Researchers Mark Fenske and Jeff Brown of Harvard Medical School discovered some commonalities in highly functioning individuals and identified eight winning factors in these successful folk.

Including:  Self-Awareness, Motivation, Focus (I’m sorry, what was I just writing?), Emotional Balance (I’m doomed!), Memory, Resilience, Adaptability and Brain Care.

8 tips for training winning brains

  1. Self-Awareness: Train yourself to interpret other peoples gestures by watching sceens from a movie on mute,  add your own commentary to write your own script.
  2. Motivation: If you procrastinate,  make large tasks more manageable,  break them into smaller chunks.
  3. Focus: Stop a few times each day and just really focus on everything that is going on around you for just a few minutes.  Try practicing this one in the morning when you are less tired and you will be able to practice easier.
  4. Emotional Balance: Check your perspective on what is happening to you this exact moment.  Then try and change how you are experiencing this moment.  Remember this is just an activity to try and practice perspective shifting.
  5. Memory: Recognize and consciously purge useless information.   Like the song that is playing on the radio as I write this article was released in July 1987.  Why do I remember stuff like that?  Oh ya, back to the article.  Focus Linda, focus!!!
  6. Resilience:  First let me define Resilience as the ability to bounce back after a tough situation,  to recover and be stronger.  OK,  so to work on this one, when you find yourself in a tough situation,  think about someone  you know who is very resilient and think to yourself how would they handle this situation?  Or better yet, I wonder if they might come and take you out for dinner and drinks? Just a thought.
  7. Adaptability: The ability to go with the flow.  Bottom line here;  try some meditation and yoga. Both of these have been proven to thicken the cortical layer of the brain.  I am not sure how that helps, but it does sound good.  And at the very least, you will be more flexible and if you have a spouse, they will appreciate you more…
  8. Brain Care:  Yes it’s back to physical exercise.  Researchers say that a bit of moderate exercise a few times each week strengthens your brain.  And for other benefits of exercise, see number7.

Linda Edgecombe, BPE, CSP

www.lindaedgecombe.com

info@lindaedgecombe.com

The Score on Happiness by ALIST HR

I came across this article and felt it was so good that I wanted to share it with you. According to the folks at Alist HR, good cheer spreads through social networks of family and friends – knowing someone who is happy makes you 15.3% more likely to be happy. 

People who are surrounded by happy people and those central in their network are more apt to be happy in the future. A friend who lives within one mile (1.6 km) and who becomes happy increases the probability that their friend is happy by 25%. Effects are not seen between coworkers because the social context of work “might moderate the flow of happiness from one person to another.” The conclusion is that people’s happiness depends somewhat on the happiness of others with whom they are connected; however the effect diminishes with time and distance.

The study notes there are many factors impacting happiness and that “happiness is determined by a complex set of voluntary and involuntary factors including lottery wins, elections, income, job loss, socioeconomic inequality, divorce, illness, bereavement, and genes.”

In this study, happiness consisted of positive emotions. The final summation of the study indicates that happy people tend to be connected to one another:

• spouses who become happy increase the chances that their spouse becomes happy by 8%;

• siblings who live nearby and become happy increase their sibling’s change in happiness by 14%;

• next door neighbours who become happy increase happiness by 34%, while neighbours who live on the same block have no significant effect;

• happy people tend to be located in the centre of their local social networks and in large clusters of other happy people.

 The Results

“Remember happiness doesn’t depend upon who you are or what you have; it depends solely on what you think.” (Dale Carnegie)

Our Survey Says…

Weighing in on happiness.

When asked if their own happiness is more impacted by happy or unhappy people, 59% said that happy folks had a greater effect on their own disposition. 35% felt unhappy individuals impacted them most, and the remaining 5% felt that others had no effect. 72% of respondents believe that happiness is a choice, while 14% feel it’s primarily genetic, and the rest thought both choice, genes and other factors have an effect. When asked to identify the one person that impacts their happiness most, the top pick was spouse/partner at 41%. Another 28% feel their children bring them the most happiness, 17% named their best friend, and 7% chose a sibling or parent.

In order of what respondents named as the things that affect their own happiness most: health was named first by 36 respondents, family was named as often; however always second to health, next came friends (14), job/career (12) and money (11). Other areas included: sleep,romance and leisure time.

After reading countless books and articles, our revelation may seem obvious: happiness is not a pursuit — it’s a state of being. Happiness is not time, money, who our parents are, what job we have. It’s an inner state. We may not be able to chase it, but we can build on what we have, and pursue happiness through the choices we make. This is an element where we have control. We choose our friends. We can remove ourselves from, or diminish contact with, negative people. Negative people will eventually cluster together, why get caught up? The happiness study showed that “the mood of one evolves to match the mood of the other”. Don’t give power to negative thoughts by giving them time and energy. By changing our thoughts, we can change our experience. “If we are not happy with the outcome so far, the choice to have a happier life is ours. You see, our lives match our thoughts. We are in charge of our thoughts as well as their creation. Whatever thought we are harboring, whatever perception we are nurturing, was handpicked.

That’s the bad news. But any thought that troubles us can be discarded. It’s our choice. That’s the good news. And how refreshing.” (Change Your Mind and Your Life Will Follow, Karen Casey)

Being “busy” is not an excuse for not being happy. Everyone is busy all the time;we fill the time we have. What matters is how we enjoy the moments we’re living while being busy. “It takes as much time to be happy as it does to be depressed or resentful.” (Happiness Now!)

Human contact contributes to happiness. Texting, email, voicemail, teleconferencing — fantastic technological progression but sometimes at the expense of our relationships. In the happiness study, two elements were essential to allowing a happy person to have a positive effect on others: frequency (having regular contact in person) and proximity (living within 1.6 km). Find opportunities to visit, connect in person. Money does support happiness by reducing stress and offering choices.However, everyone knows happy people with economic struggles and unhappy people who seem to have it all. A quote that resonated: “Unless you’re happy with who you are, you won’t be happy with what you have.” (Happiness Now!)

Be joyful, get silly. Our culture may emphasize image, popularity and perfection. Once you let go of these concepts, and be yourself/act yourself, you can have real fun.

Laughter is medicine. Just be you, don’t worry about what others think. “I must learn to love the fool in me – the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries.” (author unknown)

Kindness goes a long way to living a happy life, both giving and receiving. “Kindness? It may strike us as absurd to even approach the subject: Our world is full of violence, war, terrorism, and devastation.

And yet life goes on precisely because we are kind to one another. No newspaper tomorrow will tell of a mother who read a bedtime story to her child, or a father who prepared breakfast for his children, of someone who listened with attention, of a friend who cheered us up. Many of us are kind without even knowing it. We do what we do simply because it is right.” (The Power of Kindness)

Use your creativity to expand your existing talents. We can find simple moments of happiness when we create — cooking, writing, taking photographs, singing, renovating, gardening.

Refreshing a past interest, exploring a new one can lead to greater confidence and fulfillment. “Significant creativity is within everyone’s reach–no exceptions. What’s more, greater creativity breeds greater happiness. The creative process is itself a source of joy for most people. And with new creative powers we’re also better able to solve the little problems that beset us daily.” (Robert Epstein)

Happiness is a state of mind, and comes more naturally to some people than others. Humans are born with a higher propensity to be positive or to be negative — but that doesn’t stop each of us from trying to feel happiness, to experience joy. “The primary cause of unhappiness is never your situation but your thoughts about it.” (‘A Happier You’, Eckhart Tolle, Oprah magazine, January 2009)

Have a great week!

Linda Edgecombe

www.lindaedgecombe.com

Ya Ya Sisters

First….. here is Maxine Cartoon.

Ya Ya Sisters

I spent the last weekend with my 2 sisters, my mom and a few girlfriends.  They all came with me to Jasper Alberta where I was speaking for a Real Estate association.  We did as most women would do; we bought several bottles of good wine, massive amounts of great appetizers and of course a margarita machine.  I was laughing and noted, when we arrived at our destination cabins, that if we were men, there would be lots of good cold beer,  perhaps a bottle of Rum or Rye and a chunk of salami,  and a frozen shrimp ring that someone’s wife would have thrown in.  Put a jar of seafood dip in the middle of it and you’ve got a party.  We (us YaYa Sisters) had to heat ovens, chop veggies, bake a few dishes, get that Margarita machine just humming and we were away to accomplish basically the same and final purpose.  Solving the world’s problems and if the world was not enough, then at least we would solve our own problems.

It is funny how we gather our friends, nurture our friends and keep our friends.  At Christmas this year I made all “DW40” Friends. (Desperate women over 40) a painting that said.  “We gather our friends because they will always support our case.  But our Best Friends will also tell us when we are no longer cute after too much wine!” 

So I did a bit of research and found some great points on why and how we gather, nurture and keep our friends.

[a] Look for people who share the same basic values that you do.. Honesty, respect, individuality – these are all good qualities that a lot of people share. Having friends with these qualities will make it a lot easier for you to feel relaxed and at ease when you’re with them. You want to develop friendships that will be fun and rewarding – mutually beneficial to all parties involved. One person should never carry the burden of trying to make a relationship “work.”

[b] Look for people who respect your decisions. Your friends will have different tastes than you do. They should respect your freedom of choice, just as you should respect theirs. Sometimes you may feel that a friend is not making a positive choice. Discuss these issues. Nothing is more important to friendship than communication and honesty

 [c] Look for people who are real team players. You know what that means: people who are willing to stick by you through thick and thin, who will be there when you need them, and will show you the understanding that you in turn give back. A friend you know you can depend on is one you will probably have for life.

There will be times when you feel that a friend of yours is consistently making bad choices, or is not treating you with respect… There are very few things as precious as having good friends, and you should not let them go easily. Hold onto your friendships; let them know you value them and do your best to solve problems as quickly as they arise. Trust your instincts and follow your heart!  So even if a good friend is pointing out some issues that you don’t appreciate at the time, take it in stride, examine it for what it is, and take it from there.

Here’s to a great summer with your friends.

Linda Edgecombe

Re-Energize, Re-Engage and Re-Inspire

www.lindaedgecombe.com

1-888-868-9601